deja-vu v.2 [ rain... falling in my heart

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i know i have to get my mind off it. but i can't. im trying to but im just at the trying stage. i know that's my problem.. that i have to change it cause it's not gonna help me, just harm me. but i can't. at the same time, there seems to be a freaking reminder in the papers everyday. goodness.. gotta stop posting these kinda stuff here.

dang. strange how comfort comes from a complete stranger. and not so strangely.. how no one knows about the tears.

the rain poured at 9:17 PM

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

im soooo in a horrible mood now. urgh. and that calls for massive non-stop listening to drive. it helps. at least im not starting to feel like i wanna trash the screen in front of me.

dang. just went through this whole guilt trip thanks to my mum. argh. and my comp's dying on me. argh.

ok.. about r.a.i.n, though some probably have already forgotten about it, but i haven't. its just that the topic in question recently isn't just simply the title of my fic to me. not anymore. and its just different. im trying really hard to continue writing it, but there are difficulties that im facing which are rather personal. i AM trying to and i WILL finish this fic. to my utmost best. but i just need time. really sorry.

the rain poured at 9:14 PM

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Saturday, November 19, 2005

guess it came quite suddenly. i should have gone last night. i should have. but i didn't. and now i'll just have to live with the regret.

it hurt. you sort of feel numb.. but the tears just keep flowing and flowing. and you no longer know what you're doing. i know i should have gone last night. but i didn't. thought that everything would be fine in the end. stupidity. total stupidity. now i have to live with twice that regret.

now it's just left with the tears and the memories. and we'll just have to pick up our lives from there and walk on.

suddenly, i don't know if this is for better or worse.

the rain poured at 10:18 AM

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Friday, November 18, 2005

FAM's over. gosh.. all that craziness just for last night. there totally wasn't enough of photo taking. searching everywhere for everyone. gosh. oh.. and rushing back to my seat to either grumble about my stupid heels with java, stone with java or rush back to gobble up some food before rushing off to take more pics. tired tired tired. >.<

and eusha eusha.. perfect man and hey, come on! gosh. how do you ever beat that? >.<>

urgh. dead-ed. stoned. stayed up till 5.30 last night. or rather.. till 5.30 this morning. details another time. or somewhere else. i'll never forget last night, so it doesn't really matter, does it? =p oh well.. details another time, if time and energy permit. im such a lazy pig. oh yes.. and uploading of pics.. soon. soon. =p toddles for now!

the rain poured at 2:05 PM

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Friday, November 11, 2005

ok. got my top. skirt. - bleugh - hair and makeup should be settled. shoes.. though i need walking lessons. necklace. so just a few more things to go. la la la.. and im sick. yes. sick. stupid running nose.. flu basically. and a cough. have been tearing like crazy. dang.. im gonna sleep at 10 again like last night.

the rain poured at 10:32 AM

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I
GOT
MY
FAM
TOP

goodness gracious me. ok. i didn't exactly geddit. wait. make it..

I
RESERVED
MY
FAM
TOP

and it will be mine unless my mum totally objects. that is unless she sees it. which she might not. so yar.

ok. that's it. so one down.

and probably about half a million more things to go.

let's see. hair. i should be able to do that bit. make-up. urgh?? *makes a face* shoes. ok. i need some help. geez. why wasn't i born with tiny cheena dot-sized feet like my ancestors?? slacks. help. contacts? maybe. see how. accessories? dum-di-dum. handbag. what??? i'll think about it. and.. something else. yes. im totally not gonna go for FAM with two slices of pork with me. it's like.. gross.

i almost left 3 dead bodies in taka today. goodness. the horror. the shock. the disgust. grossssss.. i would have been the dead body myself if i hadn't seen it before and was the one who brought miao, lou and yx to see it.

the rain poured at 8:56 PM

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ok. i officially won't be listening to my playlist for a long long long long time. bleugh.

goodness. im turning into a total hua chi. gosh. *slaps self. left. right. left. right. left* haha.. goodness. the accent. and the pronounciation. hilarious. goodness. wait. *resumes slapping self left. right. left. right.*

up till now.. i don't know what it is. the looks.. or the voice. i think the voice. the looks.. urgh. angle as miao says. but the voice is too.. act cool. and trying to act cheena and asian. but totallehhhh cmi. so there. haha. bleugh. im being evil. to think i've been gushing about the same topic for the last 2 paragraphs at least and now im downing it. oh well. not my fault. *shrugs* tempermental. and the playlist really needs some recommendations and improvisations. =p

edit: so over it now. blah. haha. im not hua chi now!!! yep yep. im totally loyal. so there. just that ray wants to claim that pretty boy's all hers. ok. i guess it might be a LITTLE hard for me. but.. kw.. hmmmmmm...

the rain poured at 10:33 AM

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Sunday, November 06, 2005

lesson learnt. i shall not attempt to update more than i can in a day. so there. gosh. im totally turned-off and disgusted by my language. like.. totally. urgh. yucks. ok. that does it.. im off updating for today. w.o.r.d.s f.r.o.m t.h.e. h.e.a.r.t updated!~

the rain poured at 4:27 PM

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Wednesday, November 02, 2005

ok. the kid staying opposite me is like.. playing her recorder. nothing wrong with it. yep. nothing wrong with it. problem being.. she's playing jolin's kan wo 72 bian. on the recorder. or whatever sounds like it.

pardon me if im backdated and what not.. but since when did you ever play kan wo 72 bian on the recorder? ok. i must really be growing old. really old. >.<>

ok. oh well. meanwhile, i would like to hear what other songs she has in mind to play. it would, of course, be interesting if she played perfect man on her recorder. then, i won't complain. =p

yep. when i heard the first guitar strains from perfect man during today's farewell assembly.. i was like.. shocked. yep. shocked's an understatement. more of.. gapping-wide-open mouth, looking around frantically for someone who realizes that perfect man's playing.. and totally just.. stared. yes. gosh. and i thought it was just some other footdrill thingie. goodness. thankfully, they ended when dongwan's solo was over. i'll live with that part. haha.. and 'got to know' a minwoo fan from a gep class. ok. not really got to know. since i was sort of.. stunned.. and hyperventilating.. and trying to fan myself.. yet still gushing.. and trying to share my joy with all others around me.. and trying to pay attention to the footdrill. all at the same time. so i sort of failed quite badly. but i got a number of.. "chill!! lyn. chill!" and "uh-oh!". first of course.. came from na. wonder how she knew. *ponders* oh well.. haha.. yay for perfect man! gosh.. made me realize how caught up i was with their 'juniors' in a way.. and sort of neglected them for abit except when i saw news of them and dong bang. well, save the occassional listening of to their cd. but they're sort of no longer at the top of the list. oh well.. can't help it. everyone's like going to the army. oh well.. nevermind. as rh put it.. im loyal. unlike yx. so there. =p its been at least a year.. probably almost 2 years since. gosh. >.<>

and i just realized how fast one and a half years pass. it really seemed just like yesterday that i was totally reeling from the shock and was tearing away.. almost on the verge of tears in the amphi. goodness. but it was during our farewell. it's an honour. it really is.

the rain poured at 9:49 PM

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